Gbogbonise.

There's this TikTok sound:

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel...."

Something, something like that.

And I really liked that sound when it came out, and in my four-year journey with God, something I've always prided myself on is being not ashamed of God.

There's been times where I've not stood my ground for God, or been as firm as I wanted, but in the past 2 years, I've tried—or rather, I've, with the help of the Holy Spirit, been unashamed of God, unashamed of the gospel.

I love talking about God. I love talking about the Bible.

I love apologetics. I don't pay enough attention to them yet, but I like them. I like talking to God, and while I don't say I have the perfectest relationship with Him, I really love my relationship with Him.

I love how much of a God girl I am.

I love service.

I love serving God. Now, have there been times when I mistook service for relationship? Of course.😂

A lot of people have those times.

Recently, I started filtering God, almost as if I was ashamed of Him.

That is a very long stretch or assumed statement.

But lemme explain. I wanted to post a note on Substack, and it felt too spiritual. I felt like I was over-including God in my articles. I started thinking of what people would think, and their perception of me, and I didn't realize that I wasn't worried about how the most important person I know saw my work.

And then it hit me.

Not hit me, per se, like a gun.

But it helped me come to a realization that it is possible to work for God, and be in alignment with His purpose, and still allow the subtle influence of the world to affect you.

It's possible to love God with your entire heart and still allow some voices to be louder than His voice.

I'm learning to not edit God out of my life, not to talk about the aesthetic parts of Christianity.

But to talk about God in totality.

In His fullness, to write the words He asks me to write as He says them, not as I believe my audience would like to receive them.

I value His opinion a lot more.

Too much, in fact.

And in learning to live in God, I'm learning God in different ways, kind of like different fonts, but still Him.

For the longest time, I've known God as Father. I learnt God as Father very early in my journey with Him.

I've known Him as Healer.

I've also known Him as Helper.

There was a time where He was El-Roi.

There was a season where He was El-Shalom.

Another season, He was Oranmonisefayati. Now that I think about it, that's where I'm at the moment.

Currently, I'm relearning Him as Oranmonisefayati; that even in doubt, all I need to hold on to is the confidence and the certainty of the One who sent me.

He sent me. He'll back me up. All I need is the certainty of His presence, even when things are not going as planned, when I wish things were faster, more fast-paced.

He's Oranmonisefayati. He has sent me, and even though it's looking humanly slow, He's sent me. And lest my feeble mind forgets, He's also Oba Alasepe—"The One who does things completely and perfectly without flaw." And sometimes His definition of perfection and without flaw is different from mine because I don't have the perspective He has.

He's also Awimayehun—"He who speaks and does not fail or change His words."

And then there's this word, Gbogbonise, "He who can do all things." "Abba" is my favorite name of God, but I think Gbogbonise is a close second.

And for all of these words and names, they were derived from different revelations of God to the people who gave Him these names.

These names weren't invented to make God sound impressive.

They were born from encounters.

Someone lived long enough with Him to call Him that.

So He's been tested and trusted, and all of these names are already existing promises.

Over the years, He's been all of these things to people, and guess what? He's not going to stop in Big 2026.

At least not when Ayanfeoluwa, "The one God has chosen to love," steps into the scene.😝

I've not written in a while.

A long while, my juggernauts.

I started this letter last week, and I'm just finishing it more than a week later. And it's not because I don't have the words, or maybe I didn't have the words. Maybe because I've spoken and written so much over the past week or the past few months.

I've written so many letters in the span of a few months, and I think I wrote like 4 letters in July, maybe 5.

I just didn't have the words. I don't think I lost them, m. I just couldn't bring myself to sit and write something down and type something out, and it wasn't writer's block...

I was just comfortable, I think, not writing.

Not doing stuff.

For the first time in a while, I'm grateful I don't have a job at the moment, that I'm not being paid to write, because where would I have manufactured the words? 😂

Maybe this letter took a week because God was still writing parts of it in me.

Maybe that's okay.

Hello Againnn,

My juggernaut,

Today's song is Names of God by Tobi Walker.

And before I forget,

How have you been...?

I love you,

Ayanfeoluwa🌹